Chi si perde nella nostalgia gratuita e spesso continua è chi non ha capito il presente e non lo sta vivendo al meglio, ovvero lottando per essere migliore.
Chi si perde troppo spesso nella nostalgia è già vecchio.
Odio i nostalgici, quelli che invadono Facebook di post si quanto eravamo belli e ingenui noi che siamo cresciuti negli anni 50, 60, 70, 80, 90. Quelli che guardavano Mazinga Z e non avevano il cellulare.
Chi si perde nella nostalgia gratuita e spesso continua è chi non ha capito il presente e non lo sta vivendo al meglio, ovvero lottando per essere migliore. Chi si perde troppo spesso nella nostalgia è già vecchio.
0 Comments
A month has passed since I gave birth to my second child. I officially allowed my self some rest from my one year project since my routines were completely destroyed by my newborn. Of course the project hasn't been abandoned and it made some evolutions. What I did in this month:
How my project slightly changed: Inoticed that I spend more and more time walking or exercising or cooking healthy food and this is something I want to do more in the future. So I decided that Moving to a healthier life should be in my map (that will be updated soon) and I should do something every day to fulfill the plan. Last question: am I happy? or am I happier? I can say that raising a small child is not easy in the first month, but I am satisfied with how I am doing it and with all the things I am managing to do in this period, for me and for my family. In the last years I realized that to really learn something, actually anything, you need to surround yourself with people who know how to do it, be with them, be inspired, and why not, copythem. For this reason, in late May I decided to enroll in a sketchbooking workshop held by a famous Italian urban sketcher in Volterra, a wonderful small town in Tuscany. I have to say that I am an amateur sketcher and my husband, who's had this experience with me, is even more a beginner, but sketching is a passion that has lasted for some time now and we want to bring it to a slightly higher level. The idea of spending four days drawing in public, with people that draw much better than us frightened us and we got scared even more by reading the presentation letters of the various participants: graphic designers, art teachers, art academy graduates and so on. But it was exactly what we were looking for according to our principle: "You can get as smart as the smartest guy in the room." From the moment of our arrival we realized it would be a unique experience: the accommodation was a Tuscan '800 villa "Villa le Guadalupe", whose owners, Wofgang and Klaudia, wonderful hosts, have contributed to make our stay unforgettable. The villa is a delight, with breathtaking views of the Tuscan countryside. In the villa almost everything has been maintained in its original state: the frescoes, the floors, the furniture, the carpets. Everything has a story here and you can feel it from every small detail. You smeel art, and music and theater, all the passions of its owners. Klaudia and Wolfgang cook all the meals for us and make us feel at home, in this mix between a Fellini movie and "A room with a view". The house is full of books by Wolfgang, German dramaturge, scholar and expert in art and theater. The couple came to live at the Villa in the 80s, and, without internet, and no major libraries in the surroundings, they had to build their personal library to pursue their studies. The atmosphere became even more magical during the dinners in the garden. In those unusually fresh Tuscan summer nights, candles were the only lights. From the windows of the first floor, Wolfgang delighted us with his record collection that ranges from classical to tango, to old Neapolitan songs that I would never listen to anywhere else but were so magical here. And the company was so good. we immediately felt a connection and talking to complete strangers for four days and three nights in a row was very easy and natural. The workshop was equally extraordinary. The idea was to divide the four days in three themes: Villa Guadalupe and its history, the Tuscan countryside and the city of Volterra, and the sketch of live figures, in particular, theater actors on stage, since the workshop held in conjunction with the famous theater festival in Volterra. The sketch products were so many and also we improved our techniques so much, thanks to the expert help of Simonetta, our teacher. We have seen different styles, learned techniques, copied, edited, and we brought home countless suggestions to continue practicing. One of the most interesting and challenging experiences for us was surely the live sketch of a theater performance, the tableau vivent representing paintings of Pontormo and Rosso Fiorentino by Teatri 35. The actors remained in place for about 30 seconds then they ran away for a change of clothes for the next framework. The results were impressive, we sketched in a few seconds and it was so dark you could barely see the sketchbook. Below, one of the sketches by the talented Joe Bean who has been a continuous source of inspiration for us. I will never forget those four days, full of interesting people, great advances in our sketching, atmosphere, scenery and beauty. An experience that I really hope to do again and I would highly recommend to anyone who wants to learn how to sketch and to discover more about our Italian beauties. I remember going home from the hospital iafter giving birth to my first child as a traumatic experience: the transition from an atmosphere of peace, tranquility and a controlled by doctors and nurses to the routine without a routine. After the homecoming in fact, you expect to be able to resume a regular life, with your habits and instead you realize that the habits are hopelessly compromised and they must adapt and make space to new ones other, led by a tiny creature that imposed herself in the rhythms of the family with the stubbornness of a dictator. Sometimes you spend days without seeing anyone and it can happen that you don't want to dress up or to care about yourself as you should. The day is marked by the meals of the newborn and you still don't feel perfectly good after the childbirth. Moreover, when leaving hospital, you do not lose all the pounds of the pregnancy and your belly may look like the one of a six month pregnant woman. You can imagine the frustration. But it is much better for the second child because at least you are prepared. So, it is a very peculiar moment in which, some mothers can get to suffer from postpartum depression, others, like me the first time, just a bit 'of melancholy. This time it went much better since I was much more confident in the baby care and this prevents a lot of frustration; I already knew that my body was not 100% fit, so I properly calibrated expectations. Moreover, for the second childbirth, everything is usually easier and less painful. I have also tried to avoid being locked in the house, and so, by the fifth day, we started hanging out and doing business as usual. Finally, the big sister was waiting for us at home, with her warm welcome. And this makes it all different! This has been a very strange summer for the north of Italy: rainy most of the times and with particularly low temperatures. Not the best one for the mood, but a very good one for a very pregnant woman and for fruit and vegetables. This is the little harvest my daughter and husband brought home on the 15th of August, bank holiday in Italy and usually one of the hottest days of the year. I love the colors and I want to remember it... It's been a couple of really intense days! It all started Sunday night when I broke my waters and I had not even realized it. After all in the previous delivery it had not happened and it was all new to me. We freaked out, just a little bit, because you're never prepared enough, and even if the hospital bag was ready since the month before, we began to spin like crazy particles all around the house to collect the last things. The contractions began two hours later, on the way to the hospital, and they have intensified only after admission. I chose to carry on labor in the same bed as last time, hoping that I would bring us luck. I was not entirely quiet because I had my 6 years old daughter with us and the all grandparents were far away, but things resolved for the better since the hospital staff let her sleep on a stretcher (nice Italian flexibility!) where she spent the whole night safe, but with her eyes open wide for the too many emotions. Things were so different from my previous delivery. Contractions were becoming more and more intense very quickly and it was clear that it was a matter of hours. I asked for an epidural that I got half an hour later. It was pure bliss. Everybody should be informed about it. Epidural is pure bliss and lets you go through the labour without pain so that you can keep all your energy for the final phase of the delivery. So, at 5 am I started pushing (here is that the pain became intense) and Vittoria was born at 5.15. The nurses placed her on my chest and they let me keep her during the final operations. She was quiet, in contact with my skin. After half an hour I came out of the delivery room walking on my legs and pushing the cradle and I showed the newcomer to his sister, who could not speak with emotion. We spent one hour all together, our new family of four in a small room where I could already breast feed the baby to the breast and have a chat with my eldest. The emotions are very strong. During the pregnancy, I had almost never thought that I would have had that little bundle in my hands. I was to scared from the delivery and the many worries for the baby to think about it. And I did not even understand what a thrill it would be for the father and older sister who are obviously crazy. And now a new story can begin... My due date is getting very close, and so my days mostly go away resting, tidying and playing or going out with my daughter. It is very difficult for me to maintain a regular schedule since I know that I could have to go to the hospital any moment now. And also my head and my thoughts are projected to what will happen in the next days and I have very few free space for thinking and planning. I remember from my first pregnancy that these last days become very annoying and they seem longer than the nine months I have been spending expecting. What I didn't remember, probably because it is actually different is that you are so scared. You think about the baby, and hope that everything will be ok and for that you would like to see her as soon as possible, but then you realize that to see her you have to go through one of the strongest pains on earth and so you prefer to postpone the moment, and so on... Anyway, the totally different thing now is that I have my daughter with me and we are really having fun. 1) Shopping day! I thought I would have spent this august at the pool, trying to find some rescue from the hot, but this was the strangest summer ever in Italy. It rains every day and the temperature is so low. So on thursday we did something strange for us: we spent an entire day shopping. We visited every possible shop checking for the last sales and she had a lot of fun. We ended up buying very few small things that we really like and this goes in the direction of my decluttering idea. 2) Almost finished the baby embroidered bag I am looking forward to finishing it and showing it here! 1) Long walk to make errands (first attempt of a no car approach) Since I am at home from work, I am not moving as much as I would like. It should be the opposite, I should have much more time, but the movement that comes just from having to go to work and moving from one room to the other for the meetings and so on has gone. Again I am trying to set up new routines to have long walks every day but it hasn't been easy because rather it's too hot for me to walk or it rains. This morning I made another attempt: I walked to the market with my daughter on her bike. I am quite happy for the 8000 steps we made, but I am almost dead for the heavy weights I had to casey home. I think this is a routine I will establish after I give birth, and I'll just use the car for the errands in this last pregnancy week! 2) A lot of research and reading for the blog I am focusing on routines and habits and it's incredible how much literature (and web literature) you can find about the topic. One of the most difficult thing is filtering the useful information and the interesting hints from the rest. 3) Rest, rest, rest I am entering my 39th week, so I have to admit, I spend a big part of the day just staying at home, resting, reading, playing with my daughter and it's really nice! In these past years, I've spent my days working hard and then trying to balance life at work and at home, and usually, in summer, we just run away from home to take advantage of every free day to travel or to visit our parents who live far away. This is my first summer after ages that I can spend at home and it's not bad at all. I am enjoying the small things and taking my time for every thing I make. I think I should learn to appreciate it more... Clearly a week is not enough to draw conclusions, but I think that I already learned something from my "One year project". I set up a goal and a series of activities I want to carry on to move towards my target. I decided that as a start, it would be ok to do at least three things per day related to the activities and therefore the goal. If I look back to my past week, almost everything I did was related to the project, whether it was quality time with my daughter, or reading about my goal itself. But I think I am missing something. Every morning I wake up thinking about what I should do to make my day effective and full of valuable things. This is certainly a good step but I think it should be much more easier. What I am missing is routines. I read a lot about habits and routines and I am now convinced that I like to have a life not completely driven by habits, a life where I can choose what to do each day, but, establishing some routines is really important especially if you want to have more time to decide war to do. In my opinion routines are important because: 1) They free up thinking capacity It's trivial, but sometimes we don't think enough about that: routines allow you to know in advance what to do without thinking about that. So once you have established a morning routine that helps you start the day in a positive way, you don't have to think about it everyday. Routines are a method and we often underestimate how much effort and time it takes to organize every day of our life if we don't have well established routines to help us. 2) They help you being more productive Of course, once you have your set of routines well established in your life, your day become more productive. And when I say established, I mean that they have become a habit, they are something you do automatically, without too much effort. It's quite easy to understand that when you know very well what to do and you do it with an automatic trigger, then it's easier to fight distractions. If you have the habit to run every morning, it's much probable that the weather, or a friend's call won't distract you as they may do if you have to decide every day whether you may go running or not. 3) They establish a positive rhythm in your life. Routines help you establish a positive rhythm in your life. Take the smallest example of making your bed in the morning. It is something that also in the military life is considered as a first accomplishment in the day that will motivate you and help you reaching other goals. 1) I almost finished the embroidered hospital bag It's not time to show it yet, but I am quite proud of it, especially because my daughter loves it so much. 2) I colored my sketch Sketching is a passion I have since a couple of years, and I am so sorry that I have had almost no time to practice in the last months. So now I would like to catch up but I find difficult to start. I had a quick one in the weekend and I finished it today just with a very little touch of color. Sketching should be part of my daily routine! 3) Quality time with my daughter: Star Wars! I know it may sound incredible but I have never seen any episode of Star Wars. I have tried, I can tell you, but it's not my kind of movie. Of course I know it's a masterwork and everybody should see it and this is why I have been talking about it to my daughter in the past few weeks. And finally, she asked me to watch it together. We saw half of it (as we always do) yesterday night in bed and we are going to see the rest tonight. And the nice thing is that I am liking it! |